Flagship Theaters always had a reputation for being dingy. Not all of them were necessarily bad: I heard that our theaters in California were really nice. But at the very least, our town’s theater was always horrible. We never actually had any food we advertised, and if we did, you could almost always assume that it was a day away from expiring.

And you’d expect the popcorn to be good, right? It was a movie theater—our fundamental food was popcorn. But, of course, our kettles always slightly messed up the popcorn: batches were always either a little overcooked and burnt, or horribly undercooked and seeped with popping oil. We usually just mixed the batches together and prayed the customers wouldn’t complain. They usually did.

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This is a stage-play based on the Greek play Baptae. Baptae tells the story of a cult of men in Greece, and makes fun of them for their practices. The members of the religious group include important individuals in society, such as officials. These men worshipped a goddess, and it’s implied that this practice is just a trend, and their rituals are idiotic. For example, they all wear dresses and drink out of penis-shaped cups. One certain ritual includes hiring a look-alike of their goddess for the members to dance around. This is the highlight of the play. The group fails to realize that the hired woman is actually the goddess, and she shames them for ruining what her worship truly means. The entire group is punished.

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It’s a glum night, rain beats off the familiar buildings on your way home from work. An Oberon Inc. ad shines brightly, plastered over an abandoned warehouse. You’re supposed to meet up with a few friends tonight at your friend Brody’s apartment. You decide to take a little detour to get out of the rain faster and duck through an alley, finding yourself near the junkyard. You spot a crazy looking mechanical dog chained up outside. Just as you’re stopping to gawk at it, a group of thugs start towards you from around a corner. One at the front who looks to be their leader opens his arms and speaks, “Look, we’re not gonna hurt ‘ya. Just give us everything you’ve got!”. But, with the few pairs of knuckles, a bat and the wrapped fists you see among the group, they’re probably going to hurt you.

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